Being a fan can be a hazardous preoccupation. You are required a certain level of commitment that sometimes you can't even extend to your friends or family. Worse, it could affect you in a way that is difficult to comprehend. I for instance, has this peculiar tendency to stick to certain "fannish superstitions" like holding my breath when the opponent attempts a free throw which, in my theory, should force the opponent to miss the shot (and I have the temerity to tell my daughter that ghosts are not real).  

I've been a Celtics fan since the early 90's when the team was on the decline. And being a fan in the Philippines of an NBA team during that time was difficult for several reasons: cable was either non existent then or we just we didn't have the money to get one; i'm not sure which is the most accurate reason that time in our lives. The only channel where I was able to see US shows and sports games was from a channel being fed from the US Base in our area (we called it FEN but I don't know why but I did saw MASH there every afternoon or so) and the US Bases left in the early 90's at about the same time I had this fixation. The internet, where a wealth of information can be gathered, also wasn't created yet. So mostly I was left with the newspaper which was a luxury in relation to the school allowance I was getting which forced me sometimes to miss game results or any news about them.

When Reggie Lewis "disappeared" from the Celtics line-up I didn't know why. I thought that he was traded although I can't find a replacement on the team roster. It was only when I was in college that I read that Lewis died. Or when Bird retired I wondered how come they didn't made the effort to find someone who can replace Bird. Years later I learned that they drafted a talented college player in Len Bias but unfortunately he overdosed. And not being able to actually see the games gave me false representations of players. In reading the papers I saw Dino Radja as Larry Bird or Dee Brown as Dennis Johnson not in the same context of skills or talent but on their impact on the team or their effect on the opponents (Bird's mere physical presence was intimidating enough and I'm sure now that Radja was never in that level). 

They say that "love is a state of mind" and I reckoned that my love for the Celtics can easily be diminished by changing my state of mind while using the Celtics' disappointing NBA season after NBA season coupled by a man named Jordan leading the Bulls in the 90's as motivational tools to abandon ship and join the Bulls bandwagon but  it wasn't happening. I guess there is also some truth to the saying that, "first love never dies." 

When PP and Antoine began their short-lived  "Dynamic Duo" era I thought it would jump start another renaissance of the Celtics' glory days but it never happened as they mostly settled on being first round playoffs fodder. After fiddling with their roster for a couple of seasons with players like Ricky Davis and Gary Payton and then shifted gears again with their youth movement I thought the hurting would never stopped. Then Ainge pulled a magic trick bringing in Ray Allen and KG and the rest, as they say, is history. And I think it's a fitting reward to see the Celtics back as one of the best in the league at the age of 30, gainfully employed and having the resources to read and watch Celtics games.

Years from now the cycle of mediocrity or plain rubbish would catch up with the team and I would go back to being upset and brokenhearted but I have accepted the fact that whatever happens to the Boston Celtics I will never be able to abandon them. Just like other Celtics fans I also bleed green and oh also my pee, snot and when I spit it's all green. I think I need to see a Doc.