Chris Bosh: ‘We were a bit reserved.’

Call this: Other Sights and Sounds From Game One

Because Jeff, Greg and Jimmy do such a solid job of game breakdown and analysis, I know you don’t want me to tell you…yet again… how great Ray, Rondo and Paul were last night.

So I’ll be like the guy who stands behind the TV announcers when they are pontificating, making faces, waving or holding up a sign that says Joe’s Plumbing or I heart Kenny Smith or something.

Hopefully, I won’t be as annoying. But I’ll try to give you some quotes I’m not sure made it into anyone’s article and one piece I thought you would enjoy.

I’ll start with the article from Ben Collins of Ball Don’t Lie. I guess he is taking over some of the writing now that Kelly Dwyer has become the BDL editor.

"In the Miami Heat locker room before their 88-80 loss to the Boston Celtics last night, there were two enormous easels (in my notebook it reads, "CHECK OUT THESE **** ELABORATE EASELS") with sixteen plays on them.

This is not common. Sometimes there are whiteboards with two or three plays on them alongside rudimentary defensive suggestions in all-caps, like "TRY TO MAKE THE BALL NOT GO IN THE HOOP WHEN THE OTHER TEAM MAKE SHOOT-SHOOT," and quotes from the Bible that could be misconstrued to double as sports references. ("Then Joseph said, 'Dude, you've got to stay in front of Ricky Davis(notes). He's not that good.'")

But never sixteen plays."

Click and read the rest. Funny stuff.

It hits a funny bone with me in particular because what he says is true. When you go into the locker rooms, the whiteboards are exactly the way he describes them. You, the unsuspecting public, think we are seeing some deep strategic secrets that we are sworn to keep secret, lest we have our tongues cut out or fingers cut off, never to pound a keyboard again. Or worst yet, to be banished from the locker room, no longer to experience especially tender moments of flatulence bonding of millionaire ball players. Instead, and write these down, we are privy to…

GET BACK ON DEFENSE! REBOUND THE BALL! And of course…SHARE THE ROCK.

You see? The game really is simple.

But for the more hard core, there are plays diagrammed with circles, xs, and arrows pointing in multiple directions, sometimes unnamed and sometimes with funny sounding names like Floppy Mau-Mau…on two. Ok, that would be more like football, but you get the idea.

I think the last play diagrammed is always the directions to the nearest KFC, when the players send a locker boy to get some last minute nourishment. It’s a shame that KFC doesn’t deliver. I wonder why? But hey now I’m starting to sound like Andy Rooney.

Anyway, read the piece and thank you Ben Collins for making me laugh.

On to the low flying quotes….

Nate Robinson…

"It's my son's birthday today, so definitely gotta get that win.Nahmier is 6. His favorite player is Lebron...and D Wade."

nothing funny. Just thought you would like to know that. Maybe funny that Lebron and D Wade are his son's fav players.

Chris Bosh…

"We didn’t play the way we’re capable of playing because we were a little reserved."

Now, initially, that is a kind of funny line, don’t you think? But it also tells something about the mindset and the process that this particular group of stars are going through in finding chemistry.

How well did that new musical trio from Miami play?

Dywane Wade…

"A little bit out of rhythm"

What about the hostile crowds?

"We’ve played in hostile environments before so that’s respect. WE come out on the court and we get the boos, that’s respect to this ball club."

Boston fans really, really respected LeBron last night.

On a perfect season…

"Sorry if everyone thought we were going to go 82-0. It just ain’t happening."

In a shameful (or is it shameless?) self plug, I mentioned that right up front in my own highly intelligent observations of last night’s game. I managed to notice that right away. Whew. I’m glad we don’t have to worry about that all year.

Revelations from Erik Spoelstra on strategy…

"That wasn’t necessarily our strategy, to shoot 27 percent and not get into a rhythm"

The key word is ‘necessarily’. That actually means it might have been. You have to get good at reading between the lines.

Why Baby will get more minutes early….

Doc Rivers…

"Right now, and I said this before the game, with him, he’s our fifth guy a lot because he knows a lot of our stuff." 

As hard as they may try, they can’t keep stuff from Glen.

See how we media types can take something out of context and make it sound like something else? But I want to go back into the locker room so here is the rest of the quote…

"Rondo ran three plays in the fourth quarter that we literally hadn’t run this year in a practice or anything. ….Shaq will gradually get there but we’ve got to make sure we milk Baby and tell him. "

You can make up your own joke here.

I’ll add more as I find them. Feel free to add favorite ones of your own.

Maybe the Cavaliers will have "Play Music Loud So People Won't Know Lebron is No Longer Here." on their chalkboard.