ESPN's Fans Suddenly Insane: All-Time Bulls beat All-Time Celtics

ESPN's pretty ridiculous contest (they had the nerve to include Seattle Supersonics greats on the list of Oklahoma City's all-time list. Heartless.) of ranking each franchise's "Top Starting Five" is now in the semi-finals stage. Last round, not that any of us were paying attention, a starting 5 of Norm Van Lier, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, and Artis Gilmore beat the Celtics' All-Time starting five of Bob Cousy, John Havlicek, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, and Bill Russell.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Oh shut up, IP. It's just some stupid contest nobody voted in anyways.If you would've cared half as much about this stuff before the Celtics lost maybe you would've voted. In any case, it doesn't matter."

And I say no, voice in my head, it DOES matter.

Jordan and Pippen are not better than 5 guys who are all on the NBA's top-50 all-time list. Jordan's 6 rings does not get to win over Russell's 11.

You know what it means when the Boston Celtics, the most storied franchise in the NBA, loses any 'all-time' contest? (Someone catches a Leprechaun?) You know what it means when people vote Jordan/Pippen and some other good but not great guys over Bird, McHeal, Hondo, Cousy, and the greatest basketball god of them all, Sir Bill Russell? You know what that means?

It means a disaster of biblical proportions. What exactly do I mean, 'biblical'? I mean Old Testament. Real wrath of god type stuff.

Fire and Brimstone coming from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave!

Human sacrifice, Dogs and cats, living together, MASS HYSTERIA!

It also means it is the off-season and 90% of Celtics fans are currently Pats fans, Red Sox fans, or just taking a week or three off from any and all things basketball before they start eating, breathing, and sleeping everything Celtics again.

Whatever it means, it ain't right.

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