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Dear Doc - Redux

Dear Doc,

As you may recall, I wrote you a letter last year just before Christmas. In this letter I made a number of suggestions, all of which I stand by today, and I think a few of them have actually proved to be true. Whatever, Doc, can I call you Glenn, I still think you’re really great with the media and great in the community, you’re fantastic in those areas, keep up the great work there. Additionally, let me compliment you on your suits. Typically you are very smartly dressed, however as soon as I saw that horrible tie you picked for opening night I knew we would lose. I’m not kidding about this either, that I knew you must have looked at yourself in the mirror and thought it was a good look really made me question your judgment.

However, I, and many Celtics fans, feel that the time has come for us to part ways. We think you would be best served dumbing down the complexities of pick and roll defense (don’t worry some production assistant will explain what it means) to the rest of America on TNT or ESPN. Collectively, we ask that you no longer coach the Boston Celtics, as many of us are slowly being driven insane. Bill S. in Los Angeles here is an example, poor Bill can no longer write a complete column without involuntarily complaining about the Celtics. We all hope that Bill pulls through, but it appears to be touch and go right now.

Glenn, I have to ask a few questions.

1. For all Celtics fans, a rhetorical, What are you thinking!?!?!?!?!

2. Seriously, unless this is the earliest tank job in the history of sports, why would you refuse to pull Bassy and his hands up in the air version of the matador defense, late, in a tight game against the Bobcats.? Yes it all worked out in the end, blah blah blah, Bassy could not stop Brevin Knight…I’ll say it again, Sebastian Telfair could not guard Brevin Knight - not exactly the quickest of PGs. This fact, in turn, allowed the Bobcats to send a game that should have been a comfortable win into overtime. We could easily be 0-5 with that kind thinking.

3. On the other hand, maybe you’re just trying these guys out, seeing what they can do, wisely evaluating your squad before you figure it out and destroy the Eastern Conference. If that is the case, just say so baby, we’ll believe you. [that last sentence may be a complete lie]

4. I feel bad for Tony. I like Tony, I want him to succeed. However, he has been, um let’s just call it brutal thus far into the season. Can you do us all a solid and please give Gerald some of Tony’s minutes? It really bothered me that you put TA in to guard Adam Morrison the other night. I realize Gerald is not the best defender, however isn’t an un -athletic rookie, early in his first NBA season, the ideal guy for Gerald to guard? Someone who he can out-quick and build confidence against? Additionally, Tony has been killing us offensively, he’s pretty much a lock for a turnover every time he touches the ball. Can we get a solid look at Gerald please? I’m not his biggest fan, but hey, let’s see what he’s got and be able to come up with a solid conclusion on the kid as opposed to continuing to run a struggling TA out there.

5. The running game….please enlighten us as to where it is? All summer we heard how this team would run run run. It hasn’t happened, no one is going to confuse the Celtics with the Suns. Two questions. One, why are the PGs always lined up below the free throw line looking for the inbound/outlet pass and then going up court at 3/4 speed? It would seem that a running team would want the PG north of the free throw line for the outlet and then sprinting up the court….Two, correct me please if I’m wrong (I’m not though) on a running team, the guy closest to the ball should grab the ball as soon as possible after a made basket by the opposition and snap an inbound pass to the PG. Instead the Celtics are very casual, letting the ball bounce a few times before getting the ball in to a PG who then w a l k s the ball up the court. If you want to just play like your 1992-3 New York Knicks just say so. However, you’re ruining it for the rest of us who expect a running team.

6. Late in the game against the Jazz you brought in Tony, for Ryan…on an offensive substitution. What? Why? How? Seriously, I don’t get it. Is Tony the second coming of Jordan in practice? What are we missing here about TA? And I won’t even mention that Ryan is our best hustle/scrappy player. I’ll never understand this move Glenn.

I could go on and on, pick out things from every game that I didn’t understand, lineups that just didn’t work etc. However my doubts about your ability to coach this team effectively all go back to your quote right before the season started regarding your intent not to have a rotation. That bummed me out Glenn. Really.Bad.Idea.

Again, Doc, personally, I like you a lot. Your Stevie Wonder / Ray Charles impression is FAN-tastic. Unfortunately, I’m left with thoughts that we are all better off with you yucking it up with the Chuckster and Kenny every Thursday than we are with your coaching decisions leaving all us Celtics fans feeling like we’ve just been shanked at the end of every game.

I hope our parting can be amicable, with no grudges held. It hasn’t worked out, we’ve all had the best intentions but its time to go another route. Thanks for your hard work, you’re always welcome around here. Good luck to you in all your future ventures. All the best.

Please stop coaching the Celtics,


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