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NBA Jam Chronicles - The Announcer

The announcer

The announcer's repertoire in NBA Jam is restricted to the following words and expressions:

Ahhhhaaahhhhaahhhh (Tarzan yell)
At the buzzer
Boomshakalaka - Green Bandwagon Note: Hey Courtland by Marriot. I know you stole this one for a commercial. Maybe no one else cares. But I do. Shame on you.
For 2
From down town
Grabs the Rebound
Head fake
He's heating up
He's on fire
Is it the shoes?
Jams it in
No good
Ohhhh My
Puts up a brick
The Nail in the Coffin
The turnover
Ugly Shot
Welcome to NBA Jam
Wide Open

I ask everyone to take these simple sayings and make them a part of their daily lives. Picture a guy approaching a woman at the bar. Everyone wins with the following play by play. The NBA Jam sayings are in bold while what is actually going on is not.  

Hello - A guy approaches a woman at the bar
Rejected - She's not interested.
Hello - Approaches another woman at the bar.
Yes - She accepts his drink offer.
He's heating up - His game is phenomenal.
Head fake - He tries to fend off the mother hen who is coming to squash his efforts.
Intercepted - The mother hen is not easily fooled and returns the woman to the pack.
Ugly shot - Out of desperation he lowers his standards.
Ohhhh My - She's not cute but he is not deterred.
Wide Open - Looks like a matter of when not if.
Rejected - He comes to his senses and squashes a looming "What the hell were you thinking?" moment.
For 2 - He's moved on and is now gunning for a threesome. He's in no condition to pull off he dream. He must be out of his mind.
Puts up a brick - He's out of his league to begin with and his game abandons him.
Rejected - Hot chicks don't double team guys who chat up questionable chicks. True story.
Hello - He decides to give it one more shot.
Yes - She accepts his drink offer.
He's heating up - His game is returning.
He's on fire - She's laughing and appears to be on the go team.
Swish - She accepts his offer to "get out of here."  

I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. But let's just say that "Wide Open", "Jams it in", "Ahhhhaaahhhhaahhhh", "Boomshakalaka", and "Ohhhh My" should be involved. May you never look at NBA Jam the same way again.

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