A few days ago, Jeff wanted to help entertain us while the losing has stopped. He said maybe we could dust off our old VHS tapes, and watch the Celtic glory years in these sweaty days of July and August. You all know the "glory years" don’t you? When Toine 3-ball Walker wiggled and fiddled (without being held at gunpoint) and taught Paul Pierce the art of shooting ill-timed 3 pointers from 45 feet and how to whine at the referees for 48 continual minutes.
Jeff also suggested we might want read the Dilbert Comic strip and thus forget about basketball for awhile. Are you kidding? Forget the pain? Forget the agony of da-feet? He even went so far as to suggest that we research other NBA teams? Why dear Lord would we do that? To see what winning feels like? I am getting used to this losing thing, baby! It’s my new "comfortably numb losing feeling". It keeps me grounded……well below ground actually, during the heat of summer. I like living in the cool dark loser’s basement during the hot dry summer of my own 21 year discontent.
Wanting to immerse myself deeper in the misery of the further anticipated losing in the 2007-08 season, I went to work these past few days on inventing some new Celtic Board games and toys to use for the remainder of the summer. I think these games and toys would be great to play and share with young Celtic fans everywhere to get them started off on the wrong foot of losing the "Celtic way". On Sale Now – call 1-800-Shop PO!!!
see product detials after the jump
Game # 1 – Crazy Doc Rivers Rotation Game!!!! Come on Celtic fans join the fun of coaching just like Doc Rivers. Feel the pure excitement of being in charge of 12 players and moving your team in a dizzying array of crazy lineups that create a losing season!
You start this exciting new Board game with 12 player-pieces to use at your leisure, and 16 assistant coaches to help you mess it up! Use all these pieces to move around the basketball-shaped board until everyone is completely confused about what the hell you are doing! Learn how to use your lineups to confuse the other team from the get-go. Go small! Go Big! Yeah! Play your absolute worst players at crunch time!!! You can even call timeouts after building a big lead in the game to bring in a completely mind-numbingly crazy line-up to lose the lead in less than a quarter!!! Make your opponents scratch their heads in utter amazement as you shuffle players in and out of the line-up with zero rhyme or reason. There is plenty of fun here for the whole family until that final losing buzzer sounds. IF you call NOW, we will throw in 4 additional D-League game pieces/players absolutely free, so you can rotate a total of 16 players per game and confuse even yourself!!!!
Game #2 – Celtic Orthopedic Trauma Surgeon Game!!!! – Celtic Fans everywhere you’ll love this new and improved version of the old 1960’s game "Operation". This brand-new game (created and designed with input from Danny Ainge himself) allows you to take your medical skills to a whole new level of thrilling intervention. In this exciting new type of digital interactive game you are in charge of all Celtic player orthopedic injuries. You are in complete control of medical and surgical decisions from the moment each injured player is acquired by Danny Ainge. Be ready for the challenges that this "cutting-edge" game presents, as all body parts will be used against you, including bad ankles, old eroding knees, and even lower backs that are stiffer the Mark Blunts hands! Danny won’t stop trading for injured players until he has beaten you down in this fast-paced non-stop action medical NBA game of Russian Injury Roulette. As the team surgeon you decide the following actions:
- When to order an MRI or CT Scan!
- When to operate, and shut down the crippled player for the entire season!
- When to let a player play injured!
- When to file the NBA disability/injury insurance claim!
In the center of the Game Board are large plastic replica heads of Danny Ainge and the Brain Doctor’s Brain. Simply push on the head of Danny Ainge to have him go into an immediate bad-trading action frenzy of trading for yet another injured player to deal with. You will race against the Celtic Game clock to make the right medical decision as the whole season slips away before your very eyes!!!
Remember, each player is allowed once per game to push on the Giant Brain of the Brain Doctor for clues as to what injured player Danny might trade for next, so you can prepare and assemble your own surgical team in advance.
Small realistic surgical tools come with the game set, but batteries are not included for Danny’s giant empty head. Order it today so you can begin operating as soon as possible!!!!! Order now and we’ll throw in a Paul Pierce realistic Puss-filled plastic elbow to drain and bandage over and over again.
CELTIC TALKING TWEENER DOLL
Are your kids too young for a intense Board Game like those mentioned above? Does your son or daughter love talking dolls to help them learn? Do you want your kids to learn the art of making stupid statements and learning about the Celtic Code of Conduct or insincere Celtic Pride? If yes, then please check out our new Celtic Talking Tweener Doll complete with interchangeable player heads of each Celtic player.
Celtic Talking Head Doll is chocked full of statements for your kids that will help put them on the right path to never saying the right thing again, or simply making bad excuses for poor behavior.
Snap on the Paul Pierce head, pull the string and here Paul Pierce say: "Wyc, we need to get me some Vet help, or I want my 60 million and a quick ticket outta here" or hear Paul Pierce say: "I want to help this young team build for the future, but come on man, I wanna ring baby – who wants to play for losers"
If your kids need some examples of never taking the rap for bad behavior then simply snap on the Sebastian Telfair head, quickly pull the string and hear Bassy scream "it ain’t my gun", pull it again quickly and hear him say "it really ain’t my gun this time either"
Need your child to hear some self-help truly motivating nutritional words from a Celtic player they admire? Snap on the Brian Scalabrine puffy head, pull the string and hear Veal say: Mmmmmmmmm……………..Doughnuts" or "Can I have extra fries with that?"
How about words of encouragement regarding your child’s higher education? Just snap on the Gerald Green head onto your Celtic doll, pull the string and hear Gerald say "Stay in School …..at least until you get drafted" or hear Gerald give strong words of encouragement about being organized and staying sharp "You gotta know where to catch the team bus my little homey, and you better know if you at the Gah-en playin’ then you need your home jersey – you know what I’m sayin?"
Snap on your Kendrick Perkins head, pull the string slowly and hear it say……….nothing! The menacing angry scowl on the face is so realistic you’ll want to keep this Celtic non-talking head away from small happy children
If you call now (Operators are standing by) then we will include a Doc Rivers snap-on head and three bonus sayings when you pull the string.
"On this play we give Paul the ball and everyone else scatter to the wind"
"Yes I know Leon Powe grabbed 15 rebounds and blocked three shots, but he doesn’t know the offense yet"
pull the string one final time and hear Doc say:
"We are going to run and play up-tempo ball this year or my name ain’t Nurse"