What if Antoine Walker had never left the Celtics? What if he got his long-term extension from Danny in 2003, and was still a part of the Boston landscape today? First we need to avoid the delusion that Antoine somehow would not have disintegrated just as precipitously (or perhaps worse) than he actually has. No, he would not be attending Jenny Craig religiously and listening to every sage word that Doc Rivers had to offer. We’re sorry, but any of you who believe that the course of Antoine’s career would have been salvaged by Danny, Doc, Wyc, Celtic tradition, the joy of wearing green, or living in Sudbury, need to examine a highlight reel of his last two years (we know, we know, another 30 seconds out of your life) and then take a big strong breath of reality.
We are not so much interested in how the persistence of ‘Toine would have affected the course of the Celtics, but more how it would have affected CelticsBlog itself (because that’s what’s really important, right?). As Antoine was always a lightning rod at CBlog, we imagine that he would still have his share of supporters and detractors, but the content would certainly have shifted considerably by now (much as the continental plates shift when Antoine walks from the fridge to the microwave). Here are 10 possible threads we might be seeing this season:
1. Maybe I’m Drinking the Kool-Aid, but I Think the Cs Can Win 28 games if Gabe Pruitt Plays More
2. How Doc Rivers, PJ Carlesimo, Sam Vincent, and now Rick Carlisle, have Ruined Antoine’s Career
3. If the Cs could Trade Antoine for a Rotting Head of Cabbage, Would It Improve their Basketball IQ?
4. Danny Ainge: What an Idiot for not Trading Antoine to Dallas when he had the Chance
5. Antoine’s Body: More Marlon Brando circa 1992 or Elvis 1976?
6. Why Antoine is Still More Valuable than Pierce
7. Antoine is Stunting Leon Powe’s Development
8. Was Sitting at a Dunkin’ Donuts at 3am and In Walks Antoine – Cool Dude, Bought me a Jelly
9. Can You Still Call Someone a Perennial All-Star When They Have Not Gone in 5 Years?
10. Antoine Just Needs to Score and Rebound More, Defend Better, Turn the Ball Over Less, Take Better Shots, Stop Complaining to Referees and He Will Be Fine