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Brian Scalabrine vs. Brian Cardinal

In my last post I wrote the following about Brian Cardinal:

"I know he has only played in 7 games all season, including a whopping 2 minutes in the month of December. But I'm begging for the Celtics to open a huge lead and put in Brian Scalabrine. If the last five minutes of this game are not a Scalabrine/Cardinal one-on-one extravaganza - with the TD Banknorth Garden screaming SCAL-A-BRINE in unison - well I will be incredibly disappointed. In fact an epic Scalabrine/Cardinal encounter deserves its own post. And for once I'm going to deliver. I'm that excited."

Well for the first time in a year + as a blogger I am going to deliver a follow up post. Here goes a Scalabrine/Cardinal tale of the tape.

First Name: Even

Last Name: Scalabrine - Mainly because Boston fans recently began to chant it at the end of blow out victories. SCAL-A-BRINE!

Salary: Scalabrine - From a personal wealth standpoint Cardinal's 6 seasons at $33.8 million easily trumps Scal's 5 years at $15 million deal. But from a franchise's financial well being/fan base's sanity, Scalabrine's contract gets the nod.

Alma Mata: Scalabrine - USC versus Purdue. Hmm? Los Angeles, California versus West Lafayette, Indiana. That's a tough one.

Haircut: Cardinal - Here's the thing. Scalabrine gets bonus points for rocking a chin strap beard from time to time and his willingness to grow out his hair as well. Meanwhile, Cardinal has been balding for years. But you can't underestimate Gene Keady's influence on a young Brian Cardinal at Purdue. And I'm hoping that means Cardinal will rock a ridiculous comb over someday. Consider the fact that Scal is a ginger and Cardinal has to get the W, with an assist from Keady.

Cinderella Story: Cardinal - Both players were drafted in the second round. Cardinal was the 44th pick in 2000, while Scal went 35th a year later. So it's impressive that they're still around making bank. However, Cardinal takes this one home mainly because he had to claw his way into the league. Look at that Detroit team from his rookie season. Now that's a wacky roster. No really click on the link and look at that collection of names. Is there anyone on that list that makes players around him better? Jerry Stackhouse? Chucky Atkins? Dana Barros? Mateen Cleaves? Joe Smith? Outside of Ben Wallace, from a defensive standpoint, I say no. Meanwhile, Scalabrine landed in New Jersey and got to play with Jason freaking Kidd from day one. That settles it.  

Nickname: Cardinal - Speaking of Jason Kidd, he allegedly nicknamed Scal "Veal", a name the former USC player openly despises. So what's left? Scal? Meanwhile, Cardinal allegedly goes by "The Custodian" and/or "The Janitor." Both sound like a WWF gimmick gone wrong. Regardless they are more creative than simply using the first syllable of one's last name. Imagine Cardinal going by "Card"?

Look a Like: Cardinal - The Janitor looks like someone famous. I can't quite put my finger on who. But you know whom he doesn't look like? Michael Rapaport. Edge Cardinal.

Health: Scalabrine - He may miss some time here and there but Scalabrine's injuries are usually minor and he is more likely to be felled by a DNP - Coach's Decision. Meanwhile, Cardinal has missed a lot of time over the last three seasons. He's not quite in Big Country's league when it comes to injuries but Cardinal has missed some time. Trust me on this one.

Accessories: Scalabrine - While he only rocks the chin strap beard sporadically Scal is not known for wearing knee pads. Give him the nod.

Skills/Talent: Cardinal - While he will hit a three from time to time and receives all sorts of praise from Doc Rivers and even Paul Pierce for his defense, Scal's inability to get on the court this season is telling. Factor in the outrage from the moment he signed his contract and you've got a recipe for disaster. On the flip side Cardinal is widely regarded as a superior player. And as foolish as his contract may look now, more than a few people put a positive spin on it when he signed it. Although I was tempted to call it even, as neither player is a factor for his team right now.

Final Tally - In the end they both went 5-5-1, which seems fitting. However, that's not important. Hey I don't ask for much but I'm begging for these two guys to go head to head tonight. The Celtics should look at it this way: if they get a huge lead they can rest their starters in preparation for tomorrow's showdown in Detroit. That should settle it.

Stay tuned. Later today I will explain my new found grudge against Mike Conley and Greg Oden.

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