A Daily Babble Production
[Note: We're going with the originally planned Saturday Babble because we're still in complete shock over the end of Magic-Cavs, Round 2. There will be thoughts forthcoming over the next couple of days on a series that grows curiouser and curiouser by the second.]
Ron Artest has engaged in his share of reprehensible behavior on and off the basketball court. He also plays as hard as anyone in the league, does a fantastic job at the defensive end and has his moments with the ball in his hands as well.
But love him or hate him, it's hard to deny Ron-Ron one title: As he spent the last month reminding us, the man gives the most consistently dynamic interviews of any player in the league.
I chatted last week with Detroit Bad Boys' Matt Watson, and we agreed that eventually, someone needs to devote a blog to a cause along the lines of Things Ron Artest Actually Said On the Record. As Matt says, Artest has no filter and knows no cliche.
In lieu of actually starting that site, but in the interest of doing my part to help the cause and to have some Saturday morning fun, we submit to you a collection of Crazy Pills Artest's memorable moments at the mic for the 2009 playoffs alone:
The Best He's Played Against (04.29.09)
Not only does Artest list Brandon Roy as the best player he's played against, he reasserts it when Craig Sager brings up LeBron James and Kobe Bryant and then takes a backhanded stab at Roy's defense also.
Bonus: shouting out the formerly best opponent, a buddy from Queensbridge who got incarcerated during his teenage years.
Double-bonus: potshots at Charles Barkley.
Return To the Stands (04.30.09)
In the Rockets' series-clinching home win in Game 6 over Portland, Artest sprints off the floor and into the stands to save a ball out of bounds. Asked about it after the game, he reminds us that spectator seating isn't an unfamiliar area for him (1:02).
Bonus: Yao Ming cracking up and reiterating, "This time at homecourt!"
The Conversation With Kobe (05.06.09)
My personal favorite of the bunch: After receiving a foul for taking an elbow under the basket from Kobe Bryant in Game 2 against the Lakers, Artest pleads his case to the officiating crew and then explains the situation to KB24. This earns him an ejection. Hardwood Paroxysm's Matt Moore did a great job with this one in The Beautiful Madness of Crazy Pills Artest.
Money quote: "I didn't go there with the intentions of getting ejected. I went there with the intentions of just telling Kobe, 'You got to relax. You're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?'"
Accustomed To Playing Rough (05.06.09)
Also following that Game 2 ejection, but worth its own segment here, Artest offers a tragic and bizarre (but true) tale from his days growing up in Queensbridge. Not exactly funny, but, I reiterate, bizarre. Highly bizarre.
On the 2007-08 Lakers (05.07.09)
And what happened to the purple and gold when they met up with the mean green championship-winning machine last June. Enjoy, Celtics fans.
Three-Pointers Add To the Score (05.08.09)
The media wants to know about the impact Kobe's buzzer-beating three-pointer at the end of the third quarter had on the Rockets. Ron wants you to know that three-pointers merely raise the score (3:16). He proceeds from there into some semi-comprehensible babble about why he doesn't heed warnings about talking trash with Bryant.
Bonus: Ron makes guarantees about certain Rockets' health for the rest of the series.
GEICO's Newest Pitchman (05.12.09)
On having to win without Yao Ming: "If it were easy, a caveman could do it."
Ron Artest: Where boring never happens.