Paul Pierce is the fifth most popular NBA Twitter user, in spite of the fact that a majority of his tweets are just retweets from his admirable "Truth on Health" initiative. Those retweets are nice and have a solid moral backbone to them, but are relatively colorless when quickly scrolling through your Twitter news feed in hope of finding something worthwhile.
They make up what seems to be most of his newsfeed, and unfortunately overshadows the unintentional brilliance of his actual, personal tweets. Pierce's tweets that he creates on his own narrow down to random statements, bizarre movie reviews, incoherent ramblings, and bombastic vows. He is the athlete Horse Ebooks. All of these things make Pierce a curiously compelling user to follow, once all the nonsense about "children being our future" is weeded out. Don't believe me? These are actual things Pierce has said to his 2 million+ followers.
Just went to see that movie Contraband Great movie 5stars
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) January 28, 2012
This is Paul's most recent tweet, in which he decrees a movie I assume was solely pitched on the premise of "Mark Wahlberg fighting" as perfect. Now, I haven't seen Contraband, but this tweet was given the trademark retweet-as-eye-roll by Twitter deity Joe Mande, so I can only assume that Contraband is not breaking new cinematic ground. Now maybe Paul enjoyed it as mindless entertainment, in which case would make this excusable. But it really, really doesn't seem like that, given Paul's prior history with movies (which you'll see shortly).
I'm close very very close very
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) December 30, 2011
This is from the beginning of the 2011-12 season when Paul was sidelined, and as you can tell, he is "very close". Very.
Is Tebow the Jordan of football wow
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) December 12, 2011
No, he's not.
Anybody seen immortals thinking about going to see it tonite
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) November 12, 2011
The fact that Paul non-ironically wanted to see Immortals makes me think his recommendation of Contraband is for real.
watch #Fred2 on nickelodeon By@BrianRobbinsTV
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) October 23, 2011
This is Fred. Paul wants you to watch him.
New Nik name for me this year "The BiG Three Four "
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) October 13, 2011
Hasn't caught on yet. YET.
i'm on @extratv tonight with my girl @mariamenounos - shout out forher new hosting gig with @MarioLopezExtra
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) September 13, 2011
Um, did I miss this? When did this happen, and does YouTube have it?
Please excuse Kelly Dwyer for writing that awful ball don't lie article on yahoo today he or she need better facts b4 putting story out
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) August 31, 2011
This comes from when Dwyer said Paul's asthma (which Paul later disputed having) had acted up while playing in an exhibition in China, and apparently this made him really upset. I'm not sure why.
Omg Whitey google him
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) June 26, 2011
Why does he want me to Google Whitey Ford?!?!?!
My boy @iambigbaby11 is hostin Liquid Sundays @FoxwoodsCT this Sunday. Check it out! Gonna be a hot party @ the MGM Grand pool w DJ & drinks
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) June 21, 2011
I wish I had a time machine to go to this.
Gotta love the Tyra banks show
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) April 1, 2011
No, I don't.
My boy Diddy & his super crew diddy dirty money r takin down @FoxwoodsCT on 4/20. Visit http://www.foxwoods.com/ for tix 2 the show
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) March 30, 2011
It excites me that Paul is friends with Diddy, and I'm not sure why.
Glad @Jeremih n @MintzPlasse cud make it
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) February 19, 2011
The singer of "Birthday Sex" and one of the star role-players of Superbad were apparently key guests at one of Paul's charity events for children.
Just the guys, basketball, pizza and @Tabasco! That's right Tabasco on the pizza...try it now thank me later! RT if you've tried it! #ad
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) February 5, 2011
RT! RT! RT! RT!
Where's the cotton candy at
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) December 23, 2010
Paul was in Disney World when he tweeted this. He wasn't in the middle of a game.
i didnt know tyronn lue could bowl like that
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) December 18, 2010
Tyronn Lue: Quietly the bowling savant of our times.
Potaydo , pataedo, patatoe ,pateydo , powtadoah ,patadoe or u can add an h ,patatoe and potato u people who no English need to learn ebonics
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) October 20, 2010
This comes from an earlier tweet where Paul misspelled "potato", and apparently is accusing those who called him out on it of being ignorant.
I got u
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) October 1, 2010
Thanks!
Maaan this young jeezy going hard rite now in the whip
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) March 31, 2009
Paul and I have a lot in common.
It's been a pleasure to bring my talents to south beach now on to Memphis
— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) November 12, 2010
The greatest tweet of all-time.
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