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Answering the mail: Creative writing edition

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I love this.

Jared Wickerham

First of all, you guys are awesome.  Lots of great questions from so many of you.  I will try to go back and take on some of the more traditional questions (hint: lots of Rondo, Avery Bradley, and "who's the next star that we'll target?" questions).  But tonight I wanted to answer some of the best creative questions.

Let's get this first one out of the way right away.

ed schultzz When are we trading Rondo? (is there a sarcasm font on this thing)

On a Tuesday.  I'm just not sure of which month or year.

zergrush Congrats Jeff, you've been hired to replace Wyc Grousbeck as the owner of the C's but on your first day, we have some bad news that unfortunately Danny Ainge is also retiring. Who would you hire as his replacement out of these excellent candidates: Kevin O'Conner, mmmmm, Ed Shultzz, Master Po, Roy Hobbs or Bill Simmons?

This is a dream come true.  I now own the Celtics.  My first act will be to sell the team to the highest bidder.  Hey, if the Clippers can go for $2 billion then the Celtics must be worth the GDP of several small countries.  I mean, I love the Celtics, but I can love the Celtics from afar and still be filthy rich.

Greengreek How will the Celtics marketing folks spin this season to the fans? Any good pithy slogans to suggest?

A few years ago the slogan was "I'm a Celtic."  Since the Celtics seem to be signing or trading for as many players as they can, maybe they can go with a similar slogan.  "You are a Celtic!"  Open tryouts for everyone in training camp.  You never know when you might unearth a great prospect, ...that Danny can trade for draft picks.

Ohio Green Jeff, if you could bring bring back one player from the past, and see them play again, one more time, with the skills they had in their prime, who would you choose?

This may sound kind of obvious, but I'll go with Larry Bird.  I grew up watching Bird, so the nostalgia is there, but since I was so young I'm not sure I was able to fully grasp the finer points of his game that made him so special.  To see him compete again now would be amazing.  Shoot, I'd even love to see him go up against today's players (especially with today's rules preventing hand checking, etc.).  Just such a smart, multi-dimensional player.

footey Jeff, Do you ever wish you could take a nice break from Celticsblog? Just to clear your head? I worry about you.

Took a nice week vacation earlier this summer.  Felt very refreshed when I came back.  This blog is hard work, but it is also a lot of fun, so I'm fine.  But thanks for caring.

billz3bub Why isn't there a Mortal Kombat mod that features only two combatants: Flip Saunders and Danny Ainge?

Because that would be the most boring game of all time.  Danny's special power is persistent nagging and Flip's special power is stubborn waiting.  The game would just go on and on and on forever.

Rajon33 Can´t we just kidnap Love and dress him up like Gerald Wallace?

I cannot condone this.

Now we move on to the lightning round.  All of the following were asked by Jack's Axe

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Red Auerbach

Do you play NBA 2K, and if so, what is your screen name so everyone here can challenge you?

I don't own a gaming console.  I play a mean Angry Birds Star Wars though.

What is your favorite movie? TV show? Band? If you can't list them, put up a top 5. :)

Can't really narrow any of these down but I'll say I'm a big fan of Classic movies (Bogart, Grant, the Hepburns), alternative-ish music (Vampire Weekend, Of Monsters and Men, Two Door Cinema Club), and I'm still mourning the end of How I Met Your Mother.

Do you like Jackie Chan?

How's his jump shot?

Have you danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

No, but tonight I danced with an angel (my daughter) to the tune of the Frozen soundtrack.  Everyone say "awww."

Do they speak English in What?

What?

If you could do it once in your life, and have no consequences, what would be the craziest thing you would want to do at a Celtics game?

Jump from the balcony without getting hurt (no consequences, right?).

What's your favorite food?

Steak & lobster with mashed potatoes sounds pretty good to me.

Do you watch every Celtics game?

Not since having kids.

Who is your favorite player outside of the Celtics?

Kevin Durant

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Ask Chuck.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Ask these guys.

Can crop circles be square?

We have guards that can't shoot and bigs that can't protect the rim.  Anything is possible.

What is another word for ""Thesaurus?""

Google.

What is your favorite cartoon show, if you have one?

Pinky and the Brain has always been my favorite. Though I've heard that Homestar Runner is coming back, which is exciting.  Still watch the Simpsons when I find the time.

I think that is all. :)

That's enough.

Thanks everyone.  Like I said, I'll try to get to some of the more traditional ones later this week.  Assuming we don't trade half our roster by then.