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Free food for life for Markelle Fultz, and other things he should get for free too

Markelle Fultz has a shot at free food in Boston for the rest of his life, before even being drafted by the Celtics. Let’s look at what else he should get offered.

NCAA Basketball: Washington at Washington State James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

The Boston Celtics have yet to decide what they plan to do with the top overall selection in the upcoming NBA Draft, but that hasn’t stopped others from getting excited about the possibility of taking top-prospect Markelle Fultz with the pick.

Fans are photoshopping Celtics Jerseys onto pictures of him, circulating post-workout photos, and generally drooling over his potential. Boston based fast-casual restaurant b. good took the Fultz enthusiasm to a new level yesterday, offering him free food for life if the Celtics win their eighteenth championship with Fultz in the fold.

It was an intelligent bit of opportunistic marketing on the part of whomever controls the b. good Twitter account. Fultz is a major talking point among Boston sports fans, of which there are many, and at least for a few days, they’ve now got their brand firmly implanted in that discussion.

The tweet also got us thinking about what other businesses around Boston might want to get in on the action, and offer up some free stuff. Here’s our top-five.

5. The “T”: For you out of towners, the “T” is what we call our subway system here in Boston. It starts and stops all the time, much like Fultz’s game on the court. Why not throw some free rides at him in the hopes of gaining good will in the sphere of public perception? The MBTA could certainly use it.

The “T” is not well-loved in the city, primarily for its propensity for breaking down and causing delays during commuting hours. It also catches a lot of flack for being expensive, poorly managed, and generally disappointing in every way. Upon further review, this is probably a terrible metaphor for Fultz to get himself involved in. Let’s count down our top-four instead.

4. El Pelon Taqueria: There’s no metaphor here. The food is just delicious. I would play for the Celtics for free if I got unlimited Pelon for the rest of my life.

3. Duck Boats: These things are basically synonymous with championships in Boston. They go in water and on land, a nod to Fultz’s versatility on offense. They’re fun for all ages, but pricey to ride. Offering up free trips for life will appear generous, but how many informative, amphibious, historical tours can one man go on.

2. Bodega: I’ve never been here, because I’m not cool enough, but I’m told this is a faux convenience store with a secret entrance to a hidden sneaker boutique. They may need to shift their offering from unlimited to something like one free pair a year, or letting Fultz get his own shoes (should he have them) for free. Conventional marketing may not really be this store’s thing, but getting the word out to NBA fans, many of whom love sneakers, couldn’t hurt.

1. Dunkin’ Donuts: I know this may feel a bit predictable, but people around here go nuts for Dunks. Anyone that doesn’t know who Fultz is, but hears he’s got a shot at free coffee and munchkins for life, is going to immediately investigate what’s going on. That’s a lot of easy press on both sides.

We’ve undoubtedly missed a number of other opportunities. Feel free to let us know what you think should have been included in the comments, and remember, outrageous quasi-NBA hypothetical discussions are always fun, but they’re the most fun before the draft, so make sure to get your fill now.

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