How the Celtics spent their summer vacation

"Welcome to the first day of class, everyone! Say hello to our new transfers, Mr. Brogdon and Mr. Gallinari. As they're new here, they won't have to turn in their first essay of the year. But the rest of you, please hand forward your papers. Thank you, thank you...."

"Let's take a look, shall we? Mr. Horford, you rested up and stayed on a good nutrition plan? How very responsible of you!"

"Mr. Hauser, I'm sorry about your shoulder. How is your recovery going? Really?, Good! I'm glad to see you have an optimistic outlook; that is so important for healing up!"

"Who's next... oh, Mr. Smart! Yes, you did have an exceptional year last year! You studied how to improve your leadership skills along with practicing more self-control when it comes to... 'heat checks?' Quite commendable!"

"Mr. Williams... Robert, I mean. How's your knee? You say you did more rehabilitation over the summer break. Are you back to your full jumping abili-- no, no, you don't need to show off now."

"Mr. Grant --no, I will not address you as 'Batman' Mr. Williams, you wrote 'practicing how to be a point guard because that's the only damn position Ime hasn't asked me to play. Yet.' Flexibility is good, Mr. Williams, as is looking forward. But language, please."

"Mr. Pritchard, we haven't forgotten about you. Please come in from the parking lot; you don't need to be able to shoot from there. That was just hyperbole."

"Mr. Brown, thank you for spending your summer devoting yourself to working in the community. And, please: don't pay any attention to the gossips who have taken over the school paper."

"Mr. Tatum, it is gratifying to see you working with youngsters. But you might want to put some time in against people your own size, too."

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