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CelticsBlog mailbag: wrong answers only

I’m shooting the moon with these answers about the Boston Celtics.

Portland Trail Blazers v Miami Heat Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images

Thank you everyone for the mailbag questions. These were very creative and I appreciate that.

c’s the day

1- do you expect Ime to significantly expand his rotation during the regular season in order to keep the primary troops fresher and with lower chance of major injury? How deep do you expect that rotation to be and who are the ‘end’ rotation players?

No, I expect him to shorten the bench. In fact, I have it on good authority that Buggs Bunny is going to play all the positions simultaneously. That will solve the problem of keeping everyone else fresh for the playoffs. After all, nobody pays attention to the NBA until the playoffs, right?

2- who (if anyone) do you expect to be a surprise diamond in the rough from the deep bench?

Continuing the the cartoon theme, my original VHS copy of Aladdin reveals to me exactly who the “diamond in the rough” is (and it isn’t the monkey or the carpet). Of course, if Brad Stevens had 3 wishes, I think he’d make Sam Hauser and Luke Kornet would become the very best versions of themselves (and that Robert Williams knees would be replaced with Vibranium).

AlohaCeltic

How many minutes will JD Davidson play this year?

I imagine he’ll have plenty of time to play video games this year. Unless you meant piano, in which case I don’t know if he’ll play that at all. Especially since I don’t know if he knows how to play piano.

Will Marcus Smart change his hairstyle again? What will it be like?

4 words: Hawk from Cobra Kai

I want to see Boban in green. How can we make that happen?

I mean, if you mess enough with the settings on your TV you can turn him just about any color. But be careful what you wish for, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. (Only old school Lou Ferrigno fans will get that reference)

overseasfansince1984

How many times the expired Fournier’s TPE will be mentioned during the season?

Including this one? One, because I’m setting up a word filter on the blog to block it from appearing. Actually, I have a feeling you could just do a CTRL-H and replace every mention of it with “Gallo’s contract” and everything would flow just fine.

GSWBlew3-1Lead

2 + 2 = ?

2 + 2 = L because if you keep taking 2 pointers you’ll just lose the math equation with teams shooting 3’s. Or to solve the Good Will Hunting theorem, 2 + 2 < 3 + 3.

Abakando-Kapitaina

Why is Tayshaun Prince the greatest Celtic of all time?

The Shavlik Randolph erasure is uncalled for and I won’t stand for it!!!

Dubes35

Do they really think they have sufficient coverage for the Gallo situation? God Bless them for believing in their guys because I really don’t see it....

Adding Carmelo is just too easy an insurance policy to have....for them to just eschew that just seems so short sighted to me - I don’t see the harm and maybe there is something but to think Hauser and others will step up....and again we are talking about the 9th or 10th man.

At the same time - We need to be in WIN MODE - not science project development time - I am not interesting in seeing what Sam Hauser can develop into - I know what Carmelo is.

You talk a lot about not seeing things and that concerns me. You should really open your eyes because you might bump into something if you keep them closed while walking around. Unless you are working on enhancing your other senses in hopes of becoming a Daredevil type of superhero. I don’t know why my brain keeps coming back to Marvel analogies. I’m much more of a Star Wars fan. I’ll work on that.

Oh I will do a wacky one.....is there a way to get Simmons for Smart?

Yes, first we blindfold Brad Stevens and convince him that Simmons is actually Luka Dončić. This “seeing” theme has really gone too far. “See” what I did there?

hurdler17

Will Lebron trade himself to the Cavs or will he tell Silver to trade the Cavs starters to the Lakers for Westbrook?

Is this before or after Silver makes a special exception to allow the Lakers to draft Bronny this year?

Why is Jabari Parker the PF we need to replace Gallinari until he comes back from his injury?

I spent way too much time trying to come up with alternate meanings for the “PF” abbreviation, and none of them were good (personal foul? professional forecaster? pine forester? PF Changs?).

Dubes35

How many times with Rob Williams be unavailable? It is already starting - seriously we have to have depth at the bigs.....you have to have him on the floor in May and June - you have to bubble wrap this kid....why is he so fragile?

You see, on the planet where he was born, gravity was much stronger, thus his ability to jump much higher than all Earthlings. However, he’s still adjusting to the atmosphere and tides, so it will take his body a little longer to fully adapt. Just give him a few parsecs and be a little patient.

Sportzballer

With the uncertainty around Horford’s age and contract situation, which fringe big in camp will definitely become his eventual replacement? Luke Kornet, Nosh Vonleh, Mfiondu Kabengele, or Bruno Caboclo?

Definitely Bruno.

ACEarl

If the starting 5 each hosted a dinner party for the team, what would each of them serve?

Jayson Tatum would serve St. Louis style pizza garnished with tacos that have way too much cheese falling out of them.

Jaylen Brown would serve 7uice.

Marcus Smart would serve pain.

Al Horford would serve dry aged duck breast, grass fed hanger steak and line-caught striped bass (when in season).

Rob Williams would serve the red and blue pills from The Matrix and make his guests choose their destiny.

AlohaCeltic

Should the NBA create a 4-point line?

“Yes” - Antoine Walker